The holiday of Tu B’Av, the 15th day of the month of Av, is one of the least known and celebrated holidays today in the Jewish calendar. Yet, the Mishnah describes it, along with Yom Kippur, as one of the two most joyous days of the year (Ta’anit 4:8). The Talmud asks in surprise that while we can understand Yom Kippur as being called a day of joy due to the fact that Israel received the second set of tablets on that day, which made the day symbolic of God’s limitless capacity to forgive the people for their sins, even one as great as the Golden calf, and was therefore enshrined forever as a day of atonement and forgiveness — ‘what,’ they ask, ‘is so special about Tu B’Av that would warrant such a seemingly gratuitous statement, comparing it to Yom Kippur and defining it as one of the most joyous days of the Jewish year?’
In response, the Talmud offers six reasons for the joy and special nature of Tu B’Av (Ta’anit 30b-31a). The first reason offered is that on that day the tribes were allowed to intermarry one with the other. The Talmud explains that when the first generation of Jews came into the land of Israel they were not allowed to marry outside of their tribe in order to establish the proper inheritance of each tribe. On Tu B’Av this decree was cancelled and the Jews were allowed to marry between the tribes.
The second reason given was that the self-imposed decree that none of the tribes would marry with the tribe of Benjamin was rescinded. The original decree came about due to a tragic event, which initiated a civil war, pitting all of the tribes against Benjamin, during which they pledged not to give their children in marriage to that tribe. After the civil war the other tribes rescinded this pledge on Tu B’Av.
A third explanation: after the sin of the spies, discussed above, God decreed that Israel would have to wander in the desert for 40 years until that generation had died off before their children could enter the Holy Land. According to tradition, while the Jews were wandering through the desert, each year on Tisha B’Av the people would dig and lie down in graves, awaiting the decreed death of members of the previous generation. Inevitably, every year, a segment of the people would pass away and not get up from their graves. We can see this recurring ‘day of the dead,’ so to speak, as being the first expression of the impact of the sin of the spies on the 9th of Av, the day they originally returned with their negative report. On the last year of the Jews’ wandering, no one died in their grave on Tisha b’Av. The people were surprised and confused, reasoning that they must have miscalculated the date. As a result, they decided to continue to go to sleep every night in their graves until they were certain. Once they saw the full moon of Tu B’Av, they were confident that the fateful date had passed, and thus took it as a sign that the previous generation had died off, and that it was now time to enter the Promised Land. It was therefore on Tu B’Av that they realized that the deadly decree had ended, and it was the right time to move forward with their mission.
The next explanation offered by the Talmud is that it was on Tu B’Av that King Hoshea ben Elah of the Northern Kingdom removed the guards that prevented people from going to Jerusalem for the pilgrimage festivals. The prohibition of the Northern Kingdom imposed on those wishing to go to Jerusalem had been decreed by the King Jeroboam in order to establish the Northern Kingdom as being independent of Judea and Jerusalem.
The fifth explanation advanced by the Sages was that on Tu B’Av the slain Jews of the city of Betar, who were killed in the revolt against Rome, were allowed to be buried. Because a proper Jewish burial is so important in Judaism this was reason for great joy.
The final explanation of the Talmud for the joyous nature of Tu B’Av was that it was on this day that people would stop cutting trees to be used on the altar in the Temple. The reason for this was that Tu B’Av marks the day when the strength of the sun begins to wane, and therefore the wood could not dry properly to be used for making the fire on the altar. Since it was considered a great privilege to bring wood for the altar, this day became symbolic of the joy of that mitzvah.
Despite all the above reasons given in the Talmud for the joy of Tu B’Av, there still remains the question of why would Tu B’Av be called one of the two most joyous days of the year, and furthermore, why would it be linked to the holiest day of the year, Yom Kippur. Regarding this, it is quite reasonable to entertain the notion that in fact there may be yet another reason not offered in the Talmud, which may be the simplest and most practical of all.
Tu B’Av comes only six days after Tisha B’Av, the saddest, and in a sense, the lowest point of the Jewish calendar. Yet, as we have described above in the section on Tisha B’av, there is the tradition that the Mashaich is born precisely at this time, in the depths of the tragedies of Tisha B’Av. This tradition offers hope after three long weeks of contemplating and reliving the harrowing and painful history of the Jewish people. Similarly, it is reasonable to assume that the Sages, by establishing Tu B’Av as a day of great joy, wanted to give the people a sense of renewed hope and optimism for the future following the somber energy of the Three Weeks.
It is interesting to note that the first two reasons for the joyous nature of Tu B’Av given in the Talmud both relate to marriage. Based on this, the Talmud proceeds to describe the ancient customs of both Yom Kippur and Tu B’Av as being days when the maidens of Israel would go out and dance in the vineyards while donning simple white clothing. Needless to say, the young men were not far behind, and these days were therefore considered an auspicious time to meet one’s soulmate. This custom apparently was practiced for many years in the Land of Israel until the reality of exile extinguished the amorous customs of these days.
There is a deep connection between Yom Kippur and Tu B’Av expressed by the fact that both days are so intimately connected to love and soul mates. In the Song of Songs, and later in the Zohar, the relationship between God and the Jewish people is allegorized as one of passionate connection, such as between two romantic lovers. Moses coming down from Mount Sinai with the second tablets on Yom Kippur not only symbolizes forgiveness, but also a renewal of the marriage covenant between God and Israel.
According to tradition, Moses went up to Mount Sinai to receive the second tablets on Rosh Chodesh Elul, and came back down on Yom Kippur exactly forty days later. The acronym for the word Elul is: Ani l’dodi v’dodi li, “I am to my beloved, and my beloved is to me” (Song of Songs 6:3). Thus, Yom Kippur represents the culmination of the reestablishment of this cosmic love between God and the Jewish people. It is interesting to note that the last letters of the four words Ani l’dodi v’dodi li are all the letter yod which equals 10; thus, four yods together equal 40, symbolizing the forty days during which Moses received the second tablets.
Additionally, we are taught that when the invading Babylonians entered into the Holy of Holies to destroy the First Temple, they found the two cherubs that stood on the ark in a loving and intimate embrace. Based on this surprisingly passionate visual, the Sages teach that when Israel was not obeying the words of God, the two cherubs would turn away from each other back to back, but when Israel was fulfilling the word of God, they would cling to each other in a love embrace. Paradoxically, at the very moment that the Temple was being destroyed due to Israel’s refusal to follow the dictates of the Torah, the cherubs were embracing each other! This image symbolizes God’s assurance that despite His anger and disappointment with the Jewish people, the covenant of marriage between God and Israel would never be abrogated.
Thus, we see that both Yom Kippur and Tu B’Av are most appropriate days for bringing two souls together in light of the eternal love between God and Israel. The indestructibility of this bond is emphasized as both of these days relate to a level of love and commitment that is not shaken even after such disastrous disappointments as the Golden Calf and the destruction of the Temples. This is truly the kind of love, a passionate love that weathers all storms, which is the foundation upon which a lasting and fruitful relationship can be built.
Upon further reflection, we see that most of the reasons offered in the Talmud for the special nature of Tu B’Av have to do with cancellations of various restrictive decrees followed by a corresponding resurgence of renewal and rectification. This energy of renewal is most certainly manifest on Yom Kippur as well, whereon forty days of collective soul-searching and repentance finally come to a climax when God grants forgiveness and atonement, as symbolized by the second tablets. Likewise, Tu B’Av represents the resurrection of hope and joy for the Jewish people after forty years of wandering, as well as after the emotional and psychologically difficult days of the Three Weeks. May joy always follow challenging times and may we be eternally connected in a marriage covenant with God, our true love.
