Ohr Chadash - New Horizons in Jewish Experience

Relationships: Love at First Sight

Mysticism and Kabbalah

Kabbalah most definitely recognizes the reality of love at first sight. When soul mates meet there is sometimes, though not always, an immediate recognition that this is the one I am destined for. In fact, the Torah describes some of the most famous examples of this phenomenon. Adam, when first seeing Eve after she was separated from him exclaims: “This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh…therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh.”

The experience of meeting ones soul mate can be so intense in can literally knock you for a loop, as when Rebecca nearly falls off her camel when first seeing Isaac. When Jacob first saw Rachel he was so overwhelmed with emotion he kissed her on the spot!

Though in general love at first sight is considered a positive development, it like everything else in life has its advantages and disadvantages. The advantage of love at first sight is that it eliminates much wasted time and agonizing doubt about a prospective partner. Its disadvantage is that it may lull one into thinking that the relationship doesn’t need constant work to keep its initial vitality and excitement.

Love at first sight may also be confused with desire at first sight, and one must be very careful to distinguish between the two. Like fire, which can be both productive as well as destructive, love at first sight must be analyzed deeply for where it is coming from and where it is going.

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