Towards the end of Metzora (Leviticus 19:15-24) the basic laws relating to menstruating women and the obligation of husband and wife to separate during menstruation are detailed. These laws, known as the laws of family purity, dictate the rhythm and cycle of marital relations and are considered the foundation of Jewish married life and a Jewish home. Indeed, Kabbalah always associates sexuality with the sefirah of Yesod (Foundation); thus, intimating that the laws of family purity – associated with Yesod – are the foundation upon which a Jewish home is built. Although the importance of these laws cannot be fully elaborated in this context, we would like to briefly share two of their fundamental rationales.
Firstly, by creating a cycle wherein sometimes physical intimacy between husband and wife is permitted and sometimes forbidden, a multidimensional relationship is established. By restricting physical intimacy, the laws of family purity provide the space for other bonds to develop. The following verse in Song of Songs poetically touches on these various levels of emotional and intellectual attachment between husband and wife:
I am asleep but my heart awakes! A sound! My beloved knocks! [He said] “Open [your heart] to Me, My sister, My love, My dove, My perfect one; for My head is filled with dew and My locks with the drops of night. (Song of Songs 5:2)
As the verse indicates, a full range of emotional and intellectual ways to connect are available to a couple: “My sister” relates to the deep friendship that should exist between married couples; “My love” represents the fiery, intimate attraction indispensable to a healthy marriage; “My dove” symbolizes the intellectual compatibility individuals require to communicate; “My perfect one” relates to the deep spiritual and mystical connection rooted in couples’ souls. Secondly, the obligation to separate for a certain period of time every month has the paradoxical affect of enhancing the intimate passion between husband and wife. Everyone knows that sexual boredom and loss of passion have disastrous effects on a marriage.
Although not always discussed openly or identified as the real problem in a marriage, this reality subtly and unconsciously undermines and destroys many marital relationships. The monthly cycle of closeness and separation does wonders for rekindling love and passion within a marriage. Even secular psychologists are beginning to realize this and professionals are finally utilizing the inner wisdom of what may first appear to be archaic laws to heal broken relationships. Upon studying the surrounding text, we must note that these decrees are part of the laws dealing with purity and impurity. All the commentators point out that these laws in no way whatsoever describe states of physical cleanliness or uncleanliness (an unfortunate mistranslation that is sometimes used); rather, they describe spiritual states of being.
Human sexuality, like many other things in life, can be related to in either a positive or negative manner. When understood properly and experienced within the holy context of marriage, Judaism views the sexual act as one of the highest spiritual order. For this reason the mystics teach that the most appropriate time for marital relations is on Shabbat. Recognizing the immense and intrinsic power sexuality holds over the human body and psyche, the Torah mandates how and when its primal energy should be released so that it may be harnessed with the very noblest of intentions.
The positioning of the laws of family purity in Metzora is deliberate and conveys a powerful message. As mentioned above at the beginning of Tazria, the Sages interpreted the Hebrew term “metzora” as a contraction of the phrase “motzi shem ra,” a spreader of slander, or more literally, one who brings forth evil (Vayikra Rabbah 16:6). Building upon this, the Sages noted that the two sins standing out as the primary causes of tzara’at are slander and gossip. When the last two letters in the word “metzora” – ra (evil) – are reversed the letters may be read as “err,” the Hebrew word for “awake.”
Sexuality has the power to awaken humanity’s most base animalistic desires. When this happens, the result is superficial, emotionally unfulfilling, and a waste of spiritual potential, at best; at worst, it leads to violence, degradation, and the debasement of humanity’s most sacred morals and values. Yet when sexuality is awakened in a context of holiness it can bring with it deep love, intimacy, and true satisfaction. This type of arousal returns us to the very beginning of the portion of Tazria: “When a woman conceives and gives birth….” (Leviticus 12:1). The Torah, through the laws of family purity, attempts to channel sexual arousal, and, in fact, all of humanity’s primal forces, in order to help human beings reach the highest levels of goodness, pleasure, and intimacy with each other as well as with God.
