One of the many mitzvot in Mishpatim dictates the husband’s obligation to provide his wife with three things: food, clothing, and marital relations (Exodus 21:10). That the Torah actually obligates the husband to provide his wife with marital intimacy was as revolutionary in its time as it is today. Contrary to most, if not all, other cultures, the Torah considers sexuality in the context of marriage as primarily a man’s obligation to his wife. Taking this one step further, the Oral Torah notes that the man should not just “go through the motions” in a perfunctory fashion; he must also place his wife’s pleasure before his own.
This approach certainly departs radically from the crass and degrading treatment of women as sexual objects pervading many cultures around the world, especially in the subtle and not so subtle use of female sexuality in contemporary mass media and especially advertising. The Torah outlook is diametrically opposed to these prevailing practices and absolutely rejects such a crude use of women and degradation of sexuality.
The expression of sexuality within the appropriate marital framework is seen by Judaism as a holy act, bringing together husband and wife in the most intimate and spiritual manner. Although a wife is also obligated to provide her husband with marital intimacy and pleasure, the Torah emphasizes, and enshrines in law, that it is first and foremost a husband’s obligation to his wife.
